http://southernfood.about.com/cs/ramps/a/ramps.htm.... ok had this big long thing written out about my eating fryed green tomatoes , and Ramps went to get the link for Ramps to let those who dont know what they are read about them and lost what I had soo , this is short of it ,, Fried green tomatoes , with Ramps and scrambled eggs ,

The Big Day is upon us

Tomorrow is the Day we leave for North Carolina , I cant wait, although there are last minute things that have to be done , like packing Blaks cloths , its funny I think that old saying is true , a man forgets how to dress his self when he has a woman , in this case its he has forgotten how to pack his own cloths , thehhehe ,Im not as nervous as I was , I was so scared that something would go wrong and we wouldnt get to go , or that when we got there , Blak wouldnt want me to come back with him , My head was filled with all kinds of what if 's and I was reacting in a bad way , finally Blak made me tell him what was going on so I sat down and told him my fears , and of course I was laughed at , Sometimes I get so Scared , that this is all a dream , that I will wake up and Blak wont be there or that he wont want me to be in his life anylonger ,I know these may sound like unfounded fears but really they are not. I try not to let my past enterfear with my now but sometimes it comes rushing in and slaps me in the face telling me to not let my guard down all the way that Im going to get hurt once again, but I shake it off because NOW is NOT my past and he is not who is in my past , he is not who put all these fears and abuse in my head, he is not the one that has ever told me that I would never be good enough for any man to want to spend the rest of his life with ,, he is NOT the one that told me that the only thing I was good for was to be a mans bedwhore. Each time Blak talks of the future its OUR future not just his or mine but OuRs , that right there should tell me that Iam a part of him (smiles). Enough of this , Ive let out too much this day , and Mr.Snorei is still in there cutting Z's , Will miss Everbody while we are gone , althougth I will have my laptop , I dont have everyones emails or IM, so I will talk to everyone when we get Back ,, Love you all

the count down begins. Sunday we will be flying to North Carolina for a week and Im trying to stop smoking , Im using the patches put my first one on last night, tehehee it said that if you have a lot of vivid dreams would be best to use during the day , well didnt think that I had such vivid dreams until last night , tehehhehe Poor Blak , good thing I know that he isnt a womaninzeing whore dog and that I knew the women in that dream are actors from some crazy 60's and 90's show and that Lorrne Green is dead although now Im haveing a craveing for Bread pudding tehehhehhe , I can iminage some poor soul that has used the patch over night and had a dream similar to mine and their husband , boyfrined , girlfriend , wife , wake up with bruises all over them , because of some crazy vivid dream the one that is trying to stop smoking has had ,, maybe that was the reason why they had to put that warning on there . thehheeh as long as its dreams like that I think I can handle it ,but now if I get to dreaming about Spiders ,, THAT will Be a different Story , and Blak WILL problaray get hit in his sleep ,, thehehhehee

Dreams

Sometimes Dreams become lost
We dream our dreams growing up and when we are grown
sometimes we dream of having that perfect family maybe one that we didnt have growing up
and we want so hard for this dream to be true , sometimes at the cost of your own well being
but is it worth it , is it worth the heartack the trails and the let downs
is it worth finding out that Really that dream that you clinged to for SO long is never going to be
you finally face the truth and leave that dream behind
and have another dream one where you give all to the ones you bring life to
you make sacrifice's for them that even though they will problary never understand but you do it all for them
will they ever understand what was given up in trying to make a dream for them
in trying to make a perfect world for them , where they would have just the basic things that would be needed
to get by, just a home , cloths food , just those basic little things. will they ever understand how much
heartack , how much struggle , was put into just for these simple little basic things that most take for granted
even this dream fails, just this little simple dream but you keep going , you keep dreaming
you hold them in your heart and can only hope one day that they understand.

A womans prayer to growing old.

Oh dear lord ,
Please let me grow old gracefully .
Please let me have the sense to know
that when I'm old , I'm old

Oh dear lord.
Please don't let me have a drop in my mind and I falter back to the
fashions of my youth .
No tight fitting bluejeans , no seethrough tops, No belly shirts, No poka -a-dot bikini's
No high heeled shoes, No miniskirts,
No daisy dukes, and dear lord when I get to that age of when everything is a sagging and a bagging and dropping to the floor ,
that I'll have mind enough to know that then is not the time to start wearing Thong panties.
There 's only so much that little string can hold up .,and as for the
make-up
Let me have mind enough to know
that what once was attractive would only look like a bug splattered on a window shield
SPLAT!!!!!
I ask Dear Lord,
Please let me grow old gracefully to let me know that when I'm old, I'm old
Amen
P. S. Dear Lord ,
Please Never , Never, Never, Ever let me wear Spandix !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a few pictures of Secondlife of places Ive visted .

there sits an old man in my memory
his face wrinkled with years of life
his hands big and strong but gentle
and kind
his hair white from age

there he sits in his cane back chair
gentle dusting out the old tabacco
in his pipe, he pulls out his tabacco
pack and gathers up fresh packing it
in to his pipe again,pulling out a
stick match he stirkes it againest
the wooden porch the smell of sulfur
lingering in the air as he touchs the
fire to his pipe , puffing he soon has
a string of smoke lingering in the air
around him , the look of pleasure covers
his face , gentle he reachs down and
gather's me on his lap , looking out
across the mountain tops , remembering
days of his youth telling us stories
of his advantures. our face's light up
listening to those wonderful stories.

what a Saturday this has turned out to be , Ive spent most of the day laying on the bed with the TV watching me , tehhheeh dont know what it is everytime I go in to maybe watch a little Tv , I fall asleep,but I had company , my little dog and two of our cats made sure I was safe while I lingered in the land of dreams. Although I dont remember any dream"Speaking of Dreams , the other day I was given a notecard to read about this persons Blog and being the nosie person Iam , YeS Im nosie , I started digging somemore into that persons other Blogs her personal blog and there I found where she has been writeing about her Bad Dreams , Well Dudh if your Ass didnt do all the Shit you do to others maybe they wouldnt manafisit theirselves in your Dreams.Im a Firm beliver that what you do wrong to others will come back to haunt you and Seems this is the very thing that is happening to this person, ( Haunt, Haunt , Haunt bad dreams Haunt ).These are things I try not to do , is be mean to others in the way this person has been, for the most part I like everybody I might get upset at what they do sometimes and tell them but that Doesnt mean I dont like them , and always if Im in the wrong Im woman enough to say Im sorry , because if I cant ask forgiveness and accept others forgiveness , HOW can I expect the same from someone else , in other words if you can not forgive others how the hell do you expect them to forgive you of your short comings Cause People weither you want to Admit it or Not We all have our short comings , havent seen any of us yet flying around with white wings and a halo , Oh wait thats whats been makieng my Ass Itch ,, Im molteing , tehhehehh , LIFE is Too Damn Short to Deal with Bullshit , Laugh about all the bullshit , it Helps belive me it helps ,

Another day and I cant really get on Secondlife. which my video card maybe in the mail now ( looks over at Blak to see if he is going to go up to the mailbox anytime soon) , while I wait Ive been playing around with wings3D , its fun but I still can not get the concept that it only works on xyz I see something in my head that I try to make in wings 3D but those lines just wont go the way I think they should go , but I did manage to make a mushroom , Yea Me !! , I will get the hang of it Hopefully, just got to set aside that part of my brain that does creative things and sort of think like a mathmatishion , how ever you spell it ,, ( digging hard in there for that part finding cobwebs yeap I think Im getting to the right area of my brain for that ) . made some rice pudding this morning then I remember Blak doesnt like it , tehhhe but that means more for me , funny as a kid I couldnt stand the stuff , but I expermented around a little and came up with a recipie that I like , so I have a whole cassarrol dish of Rice pudding to myself ( looks down a hips ) yeah like I really need it. teheehhhe

its early in the morning and once again Ive woken up , this seems to be my normal return , this morning I woke up talking in my sleep but I cant remember what I was talking about or what I was saying , oh well , I saw Redsojana and Amin this morning and Fidelis before I scooted off to bed to snuggle up next to Blak, he is Soo sweet even in his sleep he reaches over and lays a reasureing hand on my side ,Ive come accustomed to this , sometimes if he's hand isnt on my somewhere while I drift off to dream land I feel that there is a part of me not there. its funny how you go to never wanting to fall in love with anyone ever again because of being hurt by others soo much , but there comes a time that you have to put all that behind you and always remember that the one your with now is NOT the ones from your past. Im so glad I made my mind up to not do this with him and he is NOT like anyone else I have ever been with , he always says he cant understand what I see in him , Really I cant understand what he see's in me, I tease him relentlessly, one day maybe he will tell me , " yawns " as per my normal return Im going back to bed and get a little bit more shut eye

Well the fouth of July has come and gone , did nothing special this year just sit in the house played on the computer , fussed the whole time because I couldnt do anything on Secondlife, thehe Three computers here in front of me and NOT one mind you NOT one could run Secondlife decent, but its all right hopefully I will be getting the replacement back in the mail in a couple of days ( Sure hope so) , it wont be long now till we will be going back to where Im from , I cant wait to See Blaks face when he mets my Crazy family , he may want to turn around and grab the first plane back out of there, He works so hard he Really deserves this and I hope he loves it there as much as I do. Im taken the Biggest suitcase that we have , I plan on bringing a lot of things back with us one being all my photographs , the other Im going to get me some green Tomatos , you would think with this being the captail of the veggie and fruit industry that they would sell these things out here but NOOo , I get the craziest looks in the grocery store when I ask if they have green tomatos , gees these people out here dont know what good eating is. I cant wait to get some cornbread, and I know momma will have a cake or pie or some kind of sweet made, Seems like that is something that all southern women had in their kitchens , you would either have some cornbread to nibble on , a homemade biscuit , or a pie or some thing of that nature, but there was always something to nibble on. theeh if I do that here well Im the only one to eat the sweets and I think Ive got enough spreaded on these hips , thhehe well he has gone to bed now so Im going to go crawl in beside him :)