just a few more things

we had our first snow of the season , it didnt last long but I know more is to come.
A Birthday present for my sister , Dec 23 is her birthday
this is a poem I wrote a while back about a very special man , you may have to enlarge it to be able to read .

just a simple dream

this is a painting I did for a Dream contest , even though I know I up againest some of the most learned and talentest artist , I think its my best work to date , what do you think ? it was inspired by my grandparents and great grandparents , just a simple little dream , of love laughter and growing old together still being in love and laughing

A vist

after working all day on a painting Im doing for another contest , photoshop started acting up on me , so I decided to stop for a while and go on Secondlife , which Ive not really been on since before we started to move and not much time after we got here , but anyway , As everyone know's Hispa and Swee opened up another RP sim The Ancient Mayan Empire .' I have been wanting to go see it and finally tonight I decided to go and I'm glad I did , took me half the night to find the right things and look so that I would not be againest the rules , Should have known there would have been freebies there for vistor's but oh well . The builder is Swee and she is doing everything to the time period and the detail is awesome. The buildings are like looking at a photograph, Everything there is like what the Mayans left behind for everyone to see. I found one place and of course clumsy me I fell in and couldnt get out , I think I found the calander room , I had to take pictures , so the first picture is the place I fell into ,, Great work Swee , and those that have not visted there yet should ,

Rant !!!!!!!!!!!

ok Im on a Rant now , Why is it that EVERYTIME a not going to say White people , but I did , but anyway WHY is it EVERYTIME you see a Painting or a drawing of Native American Woman she is always in a Eagle Headdress ? or she is Nude with lips that Dont even look like they belong on her , COME ON , if your going to generalize the women of the Native Americans Please Do your dadjim homework and Find out what Tribe you are Drawing from , NOT all and Especially the women wore Eagle Headdress, I get so pissed off about this its not even funny. the one good thing is that they are NOT trying to say its Native work if so I really would do something , So many Native Americans have had their work Stolen and other Artist that are not Native american getting all the credit for work that should have been credited to the True artist . Ok this all comes from a Artist website that Im on , looking through some of the other artist work , I come across this and it Pissed me off so much I had to Rant about it , there have been others but I was nice and informed them of the mistake first of all because they were not from the United States and therefore did not have the knowledge that most here in the States have , but when I see someone from the States doing just this ,, Man I want to take their Stuff and well wont say where I want to ram it , lets just say they wouldnt be able to walk right with out some scratching somewhere . Well now got that out ,, think Im ok now ,

DANG IT !!!!!!!

here is the painting ,, gees

fall memories

I did this painting for a contest , Im still working at it hopefully I am getting better ,

another face study , Im getting better I think , well better then the last one anyways

learning to do faces in photoshop , totally different then with pencil and paints , but Im learning what little training I have had in art , I was taught to draw faces upside down , that was a little trickie , but I did manage it, theeh more to come later

We are here

Woot , we finally made it , we left CA at 8pm psd time Saturday night and arrived in NC 8pm Est monday night , would not advise anyone to travel cross country with 6 cats one dog in a cramped up escort , UGH , talking about pain , still trying to get all the soreness worked out. Our new place is great , although we dont have our furniture yet and we are going to have to get living room suit and a dinning room set, but lights are on , water is on , and internet was turned on this morning , thehhe , there is a lot of yard work to do around here but thats all good , I can do most of it in the afternoon before the sun goes down , raking leaves , any one want to come help tehheeheh , I love the big kitchen , woot , nice , I see lots of things are going on , now Ive got to catch up , maybe in a bit , Im still tried from all the traveling packing and stuff , oppppsssss Im tired.

here is the dragon

ok dont know what happend to the dragon guess he didnt want to be with the mage , tehheh but enjoy , and now I's off to finish the Packing ,, mover's will be here at 8 pm tonight ,, OHh my gosh we are REALLY doing it , theheheheh We Are doing a Reverce Beverly Hillbillys, tehheh Move over Ellemay and Jed we's a moving back to the mountains ,, theheehe

WE HAVE LEFT THE STATE OF CA.

Guess what everyone , I finished the Dragon plus did a something little extra between all the packing and such , yeap today is our LAST day in the State of Ca. WOOOT , we are moving cross country to where Im from , IM going back to the mountains , WOOOOOT so I wont be in SL for problary a week or two , between all the unpacking and getting settled in at our New BIG Three BEDROOM , Yeap ,, Three BEDROOMS Ive done and died and got me a manson , tehhhehe see everybody later

Moniques Fairies

just another painting I've been working on , named for my second daughter because she love's fairies. I'm improving a lots , well I think Iam any ways ,, enjoy

To Call or NOT to Call

Man I can not wait till we get out of this Apartment , into a HOUSE, we have a neighbor that lives under us , who has a four or five year old little girl, the little girl isnt the problem , the Mother is this woman screams , shouts , talks to her self, Cussing someone out that is NOT even around and from all the Banging and door slamming , you can hardly get any peace and quite. Last night this went on from around 6 to 3 am in the morning , the little girl was screaming and you could hear the mother shouting " WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOING TO DO NOW , UH UH WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOING TO DO NOW , it sounded just like the little girl was being choked, this keep bothering me , I told Blak and he told me to call 911, but I didnt want to cause trouble if there really wasnt any trouble , but then again if the Mother is Crazy with a mental problem and the little girl ends up dead because of something I could have done to stop it. each time I would go out and smoke a cig , I could still hear the screaming and shouting , Finally I had enough , I called 911 and told them if they sent anyone out , I have no earthly idea because we finally had to make a second call , and Blak made that call , he was told that a disturbance was not a reason to call 911 , WHAT the FUCK , what the Hell is 911 for , what you only call the stupid ass After the fact of the death of the little girl when their Damn stupid ass could have came out and provented this in the first place, AND what REALLY Surprises me is How Ca is always doing this and that , Shouting child protection , and All that Shit , and then NO ONE , NOT ONE Neighbor has the Damn fucking Guts to call or report what is going on , yeah I did haste but I did DO IT and that is what counts the most ,, I would rather Call and be wrong then NOT call and the Child ends up Dead.

wondering

sometimes I wonder if anyone even bothers to read this blog , which really in a way I dont give a fuck if no one does read it , I mostly did it for myself I guess , but the only thing is I cant really comment on my own blog , well then again maybe I might can, would sort of be like talking to yourself and even if no one admits that they do talk to theirselves. well here goes ,, Hello blog , humm I see you have some new paintings up and I see that you have had a few things to say on certain topic's , well you know the paintings do look nice but then you do have a lot of work to do on your artskills , just keep practiceing and you will get there , and your topic's they are very enlighting to a certain point , a lot of folks dont give a shit about what you have to say , but thats ok you keep doing what your doing , in the end nobody will remember a damn thing anybody says after they are dead

I"m at it again , I have 3 of 4 painting done now , and getting better at figuring out how to use photoshop for painting , I just cant wait to see how much better I going to get

what I've been doing

these are some painting that I have been doing in photoshop ,Im on a binge now to learn how to paint in photoshop. I forget everything else most of the time when I start doing art , its the one thing that I have always loved but never had the money to go to college for it , but thats ok , Im still learning how to make pictures come out the way I want them too. I cant wait each morning when I wake up to get started on learning something new. yeah I know they all may look like kid paintings but I guess in a way you can say Im a baby to this , well all but the dragon , that I did in pencil , and it was the first dragon Ive ever drawed so yeah Im pretty proud of it , now I cant wait till I get good enough in photoshop to really do it some justice . All Truthful comments are welcome , thehehhhe

subject of Assumeing

why is it that a lot of people ASSUME , lets break that word down Ass/ U/ Me , see in using Assume you are making an Ass out of you and me , Im NOT an Ass , dont know about yourself but Im not ,might act like one sometimes. people assume that because you might talk to someone that has a reputation of causing trouble that you are the same by just talking to them, NOT always the case , or you like talking to someone but then they get it in their head that you want to take them off somewhere and cybersex their pixelated brains out ,, NO not that either , dont have to do that I HAVE SOME I LOVE VERY MUCH. this is all a form of judgeing , your judgeing someone for your own thoughts you have about a certain situation or what you think is on their mind to do. Dont do this if Im going to be judged on anything then judge me for my characther , for things you have known Ive done , judge me for my smart mouth judge me for what you see not for what you think I want or what you think that I might do. To me these are qualitys about yourself that you think that others will be the same way , remember we are NOT all the same. what a boreing world if that were the case. Someone once got mad at me because I reacted to a situation in my way , I asked a question he gave an answer , case closed I walked out of the room to finish what I was doing , then he comes out upset thinking that I wanted him to follow me and continue the conversaton , repeating to me that I had displayed the classic signs of a woman wanting to be petted. He then told me that a case study had been done and my body language had displayed all the signs. which this in turn really did cause me to go into a rage ,because in the first case Ive never been in a dadjim case study,nor on a couch of any kind talking to a doctor of that degree so HOW can someone that doesnt Know me know how Im going to react to a situation ,, Body lanugage tells us that crossing our arms across our chest displays a sign of feeling threaten , or putting our hands on our hips displays a sign of aggression ,, I do this all the time even when there is NOone around me , why cause my arms arn't long enough to reach up my ass, ITS because I dont have anything else to do with my arms while Im standing waiting for my dog to finish her business ,, gees come on now what am I feeling threatend by , the Grass , air , trees ,, gees , now do you see what I mean .you can not assume nor can you judge someone on how you think they should or shouldnt react or act.

Born of Landii Mermaid and Wolfrider elf ,she lived many years in the land of her father , with the tratits from her father she has some of the abilites of the Wolfrider elfs , but these are limited due to the fact that she is mixed. most of her magic abilities are limited. and because of her fathers race being hybirds theirselves they are mortal. she can be killed but hopes to live a very long life. She can and does bond with animals this is called Animal bonding which gives her the empathic or telepathic connection with animals Mainly wolves. she can not start fires and control them like those members of her fathers tribe, but she did learn the Freezing stare, this has gotten her out of a lot of trouble this ability gives her the power to paralize an animal or intelligent being . she can not fly like other members of her fathers tribe but she can when angered to that point Black send. in which she sends in such a manner to cause psychic pain. there are so many of the wolfrider abilitys that she did not receive but with what she does have she can protect herself. Being able to live many years on land is due to the fact of her mothers race .The Landii Mermaids have the ability to transform from a creature with no legs to one with legs. she recieved from her mother a singing voice that can enchant the ears of a god. unlike her mothers people she can not raise and clam storms at will , the times she has tried ended in disaster so she doesnt try this. many belive that the mermaids can breath underwater but this is not the case , they are like dolphians they have to rise to the surface for air, but they do have the ability to stay under longer then humans or other races, she can swim in any body of water be it ocean , sea , lakes and rivers,. Mermaids dont have any magical abilites in themselves as many believe that they do , what magic ability they do have is most of the time in the form of an object , like a mirror , comb that is worn in their hair or a necklace or just a simple sea shell , they can make potions but tchebbe has never tried to make potions , she just might start , although she is a great swimmer she can not Speed swim like her mothers people and this with in its self gives her the chance of being caught and ate if she is not careful , there are many that have been known to capture mermaids and eat them , and tchebbe does not want to end up as the special guest menu on someones supper plate. Sometimes you might see tchebbe wear a necklace around her neck that was given to her by her mother when she was a baby right before her mother died as was told to her by her father . What if any powers this necklace holds tchebbe does not know she has never tried to channel to it , to her its just a keepsake from her mother. mostly tchebbe is a happy go lucky person that does love to tease and might be caught flirting sometimes. She sometimes goes off by herself so no one can find her to swim in the rivers and lay upon the rocks to dry during these times she is very vunerable and if perchance someone happend upon her she would be at their mercy if they caught her napping .
the faster she dries the faster she gets her land legs back.
referance : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/elves_(elfquest)
http://h20.wikia.com/wiki/mermaid
http://www.Trynne.com/species html.

Base Race: mermaid
Race name :halfelf ( wolfrider elf)
Alginment : netural

Bitch in use

Someone asked for everyone's difinintion of the word Bitch , I wrote what my meaning of the term was but then thought about it How did this word become a slang word used to discribe many different things about a woman and in some cases a man. I myself have been called this many times in the past , NOT for the way I acted , but because some felt that I was takening their job away from them when in reality I just wanted to work and provide for my daughters ( single mother ) I never got into the industry to prove a point, but I did have to prove myself over and over that I could do the job and when I stopped , I can proudly say that I finished with a driveing recored of safty that would surpass many. Each day I would hear the word " Bitch" throwed at me " Bitch go back home " Bitch your taking our job away from us " Bitch this Bitch that " Finally I came back at them " I would rather be a Bitch then a Dog , A dog will smell anythings Ass and a Bitch wont" this little phrase finally shut most of them up .. why you asked because I was referring to them as the counter part of the female Bitch ,, the Dog , Why because most over the road drivers are out there for months at a time and most do not have the self disapline and would pay anything for sexual favors , they knew I knew this , To them I was a Bitch because as one difinition puts it " a strong or assertive woman, one who might make men feel threatened.
now for the rest , I found this information at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitch
the word Bitch has been a derogatory term for women since the 14th century . the word Bitch comes from the 1150 word bicche, which was developed from the old english word bicce, and also may have been derived from the old Icelandic word bikkja for " female dog " its earliest slang meaning mainly referred to the sexual behavior of women .early applications were to a promiscuous or sensual woman, a metaphorical extension of the behavior of a bitch in heat. Herein lies the original point of the powerful insult son of a bitch, found as biche sone ca. 1330 in Arthur and Merlin ... while in a spirited exchange in the Chester Play (ca. 1400) a character demands: “Whom callest thou queine, skabde bitch?” (“Who are you calling a whore, you miserable bitch?”). Bitch remained a strong insult through the ninteenth century.
In the 20th century , " Bitch " has become less vulgar . The term can refer to a person or thing that is very difficult .' However, it is still derogatory and anti-woman by default.
it can also be used as a self -description as an unfaily difficult person.
In modern feminism " bitch " has varied reappropriated meanings that may connote a strong female ( anti -stereotype of the weak submissive woman ) cunning ( equal to males in mental guile) or can be a backhanded compliment for someone who has excelled in an achievement .
in each culture pop culture and Hip hop culture the term Bitch has lost a lot of its insult.
Now in the reference to Men :

When used to describe a male, "bitch" may also confer the meaning of subordinate, especially to another male, as in prison. Generally, this term is used to indicate that the person is acting outside the confines of their gender roles, such as when women are assertive or aggressive, or when men are passive or servile.

In the context of prison sexuality, a bitch is a lower-hierarchy prisoner, typically physically weak or vulnerable, who is dominated by more senior prisoners and forced to adopt a servile role. According to convention, these inmates are used as sexual slaves or traded as personal property. ^[16]

A "prison bitch" can also refer to any subservient entity, as in the Douglas Rushkoff description of a Microsoft - Yahoo partnership: "Yahoo is merely hooking up with the most alpha male company it can still find in order to survive. Microsoft will soon turn Yahoo into its prison bitch, and this won’t be pretty." ^{[17] that was easier to copy and paste ,, thehee but hope everyone enjoys reading and now we know where the Slang term of Bitch started ....}

A few pictures from our Vacation

the cat on the fence , Blak thought it was stuffed and put there , he called it his " Cailf exbhit state of mind, until I called the cat " Snowball" and it came to be petted. He asked me if I knew the cat ,, nope just figured that was its name since it was pure white. thehehe
this is in the Cherokee Indian Reservation over to the left is where I want our wedding to be held where the two streams come together.



Boy I would say this Duck sure had a lot of babies to contend with better her then me
these were made from the window of our flight

yeap as I said would be easier for me to learn Ballet , then him takeing pity on my femininity and getting rid of the Dead rat, he hands ME the BAG !!! gees dont he know that there are somethings that a MAN MUST do for his woman and I think this is one of those things , tehehehhe , He tells me to put it in the bag drop it over the side and when WE ,NOT He ,,, go out then the bag will be picked up and carried to the trash outside , but here again , when I take my dog out for a walk I will be expected to carry the dead rat bag down to the trash , YEAH RIGHT!!! I brought up the fact that I would be the one that will go out the door first, he goes he wasnt thinking of that fact ,, Yeah Right , thehehe he is NOT fooling me, "faints " where has chiverly gone in this day and age .

Ive wrote about this Dude before , well 4 am this morning I am awake ( because we came back from a little walking trip and laid down and didnt get up again till around 8pm) any way I go out on the porch to have a smoke ,, yes Im still smoking , and what do I find laying there right near the sliding screen , a present from Dude !!!!! as we all know cats , it wasnt the kind that most of us are thrilled about getting either , Im just glad it wasnt ALIVE !!!!!!!!! but still , it is nice to know that even if I dont eat RAT'S !!! that he thought enough of me to bring me something he had caught , knowning full well this ole stray cat doesnt get much in the way of food anyway , I gave him some Cat food for his present , but he is just as content to sit on the bannister while I pet his head , or if I sit down he climbs up in my lap to be petted , thehehhehe NOW the Trick is , in getting BLAK to remove the Dead RAT , I might have a better chance of learning Ballet I dont know we will see , going to act all freaked out about me doing it so he will take pity on me and get rid of the Dead rat for me ,, tehhhehe

Back from a week of vacation in Maggie Valley N.C. the time there was great , I finally got to get some fried green tomatos and I fixed Blak some fried potatos and ramps , thehee Momma wasnt too pleased about the ramps because they stank the whole house up, they smell really bad, but are very good , something like a gralice and onion crossed. we had homemade icecream at my aunts house which I havent had in a long time, My family couldnt get over the fact of how much weight I had gained ,, tehehheh my poor uncle didnt even know who I was until I started talking , he then looked at me in such a surprised look and yelled " Girl Somebody's Done a Super Sized you " I thought we all were going to fall off the porch laughing soo hard. for once in untold number of years all my siblings were together , and boy has time played havoc on us , tehheeh NOw thats what happens when you get older , we looked like the bigbutt family , I couldnt help but laugh at how much we each have changed and then not changed, the rest of them always try to outtalk each other , me I can never get a word in edgewise with them so I stay quite , but all and all it was a great vacation , well not including the day Blak and I got ticks all over us , I was about to strip in the towtruck drivers truck , ( Momma's car broke down on a mountain top where we were looking at a house for sale ) when we got to the grarge Blak wouldnt check to see if I had ticks on my butt , I know I embrassed him , but them things are Creepy and carry rocky mountain spotted fever and lyme deasies , I didnt want one on me Anywhere , theheh we freaked out for two days , but I think we got them all off , teheh but the Blackberrys were good anyway

http://southernfood.about.com/cs/ramps/a/ramps.htm.... ok had this big long thing written out about my eating fryed green tomatoes , and Ramps went to get the link for Ramps to let those who dont know what they are read about them and lost what I had soo , this is short of it ,, Fried green tomatoes , with Ramps and scrambled eggs ,

The Big Day is upon us

Tomorrow is the Day we leave for North Carolina , I cant wait, although there are last minute things that have to be done , like packing Blaks cloths , its funny I think that old saying is true , a man forgets how to dress his self when he has a woman , in this case its he has forgotten how to pack his own cloths , thehhehe ,Im not as nervous as I was , I was so scared that something would go wrong and we wouldnt get to go , or that when we got there , Blak wouldnt want me to come back with him , My head was filled with all kinds of what if 's and I was reacting in a bad way , finally Blak made me tell him what was going on so I sat down and told him my fears , and of course I was laughed at , Sometimes I get so Scared , that this is all a dream , that I will wake up and Blak wont be there or that he wont want me to be in his life anylonger ,I know these may sound like unfounded fears but really they are not. I try not to let my past enterfear with my now but sometimes it comes rushing in and slaps me in the face telling me to not let my guard down all the way that Im going to get hurt once again, but I shake it off because NOW is NOT my past and he is not who is in my past , he is not who put all these fears and abuse in my head, he is not the one that has ever told me that I would never be good enough for any man to want to spend the rest of his life with ,, he is NOT the one that told me that the only thing I was good for was to be a mans bedwhore. Each time Blak talks of the future its OUR future not just his or mine but OuRs , that right there should tell me that Iam a part of him (smiles). Enough of this , Ive let out too much this day , and Mr.Snorei is still in there cutting Z's , Will miss Everbody while we are gone , althougth I will have my laptop , I dont have everyones emails or IM, so I will talk to everyone when we get Back ,, Love you all

the count down begins. Sunday we will be flying to North Carolina for a week and Im trying to stop smoking , Im using the patches put my first one on last night, tehehee it said that if you have a lot of vivid dreams would be best to use during the day , well didnt think that I had such vivid dreams until last night , tehehhehe Poor Blak , good thing I know that he isnt a womaninzeing whore dog and that I knew the women in that dream are actors from some crazy 60's and 90's show and that Lorrne Green is dead although now Im haveing a craveing for Bread pudding tehehhehhe , I can iminage some poor soul that has used the patch over night and had a dream similar to mine and their husband , boyfrined , girlfriend , wife , wake up with bruises all over them , because of some crazy vivid dream the one that is trying to stop smoking has had ,, maybe that was the reason why they had to put that warning on there . thehheeh as long as its dreams like that I think I can handle it ,but now if I get to dreaming about Spiders ,, THAT will Be a different Story , and Blak WILL problaray get hit in his sleep ,, thehehhehee

Dreams

Sometimes Dreams become lost
We dream our dreams growing up and when we are grown
sometimes we dream of having that perfect family maybe one that we didnt have growing up
and we want so hard for this dream to be true , sometimes at the cost of your own well being
but is it worth it , is it worth the heartack the trails and the let downs
is it worth finding out that Really that dream that you clinged to for SO long is never going to be
you finally face the truth and leave that dream behind
and have another dream one where you give all to the ones you bring life to
you make sacrifice's for them that even though they will problary never understand but you do it all for them
will they ever understand what was given up in trying to make a dream for them
in trying to make a perfect world for them , where they would have just the basic things that would be needed
to get by, just a home , cloths food , just those basic little things. will they ever understand how much
heartack , how much struggle , was put into just for these simple little basic things that most take for granted
even this dream fails, just this little simple dream but you keep going , you keep dreaming
you hold them in your heart and can only hope one day that they understand.

A womans prayer to growing old.

Oh dear lord ,
Please let me grow old gracefully .
Please let me have the sense to know
that when I'm old , I'm old

Oh dear lord.
Please don't let me have a drop in my mind and I falter back to the
fashions of my youth .
No tight fitting bluejeans , no seethrough tops, No belly shirts, No poka -a-dot bikini's
No high heeled shoes, No miniskirts,
No daisy dukes, and dear lord when I get to that age of when everything is a sagging and a bagging and dropping to the floor ,
that I'll have mind enough to know that then is not the time to start wearing Thong panties.
There 's only so much that little string can hold up .,and as for the
make-up
Let me have mind enough to know
that what once was attractive would only look like a bug splattered on a window shield
SPLAT!!!!!
I ask Dear Lord,
Please let me grow old gracefully to let me know that when I'm old, I'm old
Amen
P. S. Dear Lord ,
Please Never , Never, Never, Ever let me wear Spandix !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a few pictures of Secondlife of places Ive visted .

there sits an old man in my memory
his face wrinkled with years of life
his hands big and strong but gentle
and kind
his hair white from age

there he sits in his cane back chair
gentle dusting out the old tabacco
in his pipe, he pulls out his tabacco
pack and gathers up fresh packing it
in to his pipe again,pulling out a
stick match he stirkes it againest
the wooden porch the smell of sulfur
lingering in the air as he touchs the
fire to his pipe , puffing he soon has
a string of smoke lingering in the air
around him , the look of pleasure covers
his face , gentle he reachs down and
gather's me on his lap , looking out
across the mountain tops , remembering
days of his youth telling us stories
of his advantures. our face's light up
listening to those wonderful stories.

what a Saturday this has turned out to be , Ive spent most of the day laying on the bed with the TV watching me , tehhheeh dont know what it is everytime I go in to maybe watch a little Tv , I fall asleep,but I had company , my little dog and two of our cats made sure I was safe while I lingered in the land of dreams. Although I dont remember any dream"Speaking of Dreams , the other day I was given a notecard to read about this persons Blog and being the nosie person Iam , YeS Im nosie , I started digging somemore into that persons other Blogs her personal blog and there I found where she has been writeing about her Bad Dreams , Well Dudh if your Ass didnt do all the Shit you do to others maybe they wouldnt manafisit theirselves in your Dreams.Im a Firm beliver that what you do wrong to others will come back to haunt you and Seems this is the very thing that is happening to this person, ( Haunt, Haunt , Haunt bad dreams Haunt ).These are things I try not to do , is be mean to others in the way this person has been, for the most part I like everybody I might get upset at what they do sometimes and tell them but that Doesnt mean I dont like them , and always if Im in the wrong Im woman enough to say Im sorry , because if I cant ask forgiveness and accept others forgiveness , HOW can I expect the same from someone else , in other words if you can not forgive others how the hell do you expect them to forgive you of your short comings Cause People weither you want to Admit it or Not We all have our short comings , havent seen any of us yet flying around with white wings and a halo , Oh wait thats whats been makieng my Ass Itch ,, Im molteing , tehhehehh , LIFE is Too Damn Short to Deal with Bullshit , Laugh about all the bullshit , it Helps belive me it helps ,

Another day and I cant really get on Secondlife. which my video card maybe in the mail now ( looks over at Blak to see if he is going to go up to the mailbox anytime soon) , while I wait Ive been playing around with wings3D , its fun but I still can not get the concept that it only works on xyz I see something in my head that I try to make in wings 3D but those lines just wont go the way I think they should go , but I did manage to make a mushroom , Yea Me !! , I will get the hang of it Hopefully, just got to set aside that part of my brain that does creative things and sort of think like a mathmatishion , how ever you spell it ,, ( digging hard in there for that part finding cobwebs yeap I think Im getting to the right area of my brain for that ) . made some rice pudding this morning then I remember Blak doesnt like it , tehhhe but that means more for me , funny as a kid I couldnt stand the stuff , but I expermented around a little and came up with a recipie that I like , so I have a whole cassarrol dish of Rice pudding to myself ( looks down a hips ) yeah like I really need it. teheehhhe

its early in the morning and once again Ive woken up , this seems to be my normal return , this morning I woke up talking in my sleep but I cant remember what I was talking about or what I was saying , oh well , I saw Redsojana and Amin this morning and Fidelis before I scooted off to bed to snuggle up next to Blak, he is Soo sweet even in his sleep he reaches over and lays a reasureing hand on my side ,Ive come accustomed to this , sometimes if he's hand isnt on my somewhere while I drift off to dream land I feel that there is a part of me not there. its funny how you go to never wanting to fall in love with anyone ever again because of being hurt by others soo much , but there comes a time that you have to put all that behind you and always remember that the one your with now is NOT the ones from your past. Im so glad I made my mind up to not do this with him and he is NOT like anyone else I have ever been with , he always says he cant understand what I see in him , Really I cant understand what he see's in me, I tease him relentlessly, one day maybe he will tell me , " yawns " as per my normal return Im going back to bed and get a little bit more shut eye

Well the fouth of July has come and gone , did nothing special this year just sit in the house played on the computer , fussed the whole time because I couldnt do anything on Secondlife, thehe Three computers here in front of me and NOT one mind you NOT one could run Secondlife decent, but its all right hopefully I will be getting the replacement back in the mail in a couple of days ( Sure hope so) , it wont be long now till we will be going back to where Im from , I cant wait to See Blaks face when he mets my Crazy family , he may want to turn around and grab the first plane back out of there, He works so hard he Really deserves this and I hope he loves it there as much as I do. Im taken the Biggest suitcase that we have , I plan on bringing a lot of things back with us one being all my photographs , the other Im going to get me some green Tomatos , you would think with this being the captail of the veggie and fruit industry that they would sell these things out here but NOOo , I get the craziest looks in the grocery store when I ask if they have green tomatos , gees these people out here dont know what good eating is. I cant wait to get some cornbread, and I know momma will have a cake or pie or some kind of sweet made, Seems like that is something that all southern women had in their kitchens , you would either have some cornbread to nibble on , a homemade biscuit , or a pie or some thing of that nature, but there was always something to nibble on. theeh if I do that here well Im the only one to eat the sweets and I think Ive got enough spreaded on these hips , thhehe well he has gone to bed now so Im going to go crawl in beside him :)

dude

he is just an ole stray cat roaming the neighborhood looking for his daily meals , ears taitered and torne from all the cat fights he has encountred , but yet he stays close to me , doesnt ask for anything just a stratch behind the ears or to lay on my lap ,he follows me everywhere I go outside
I go to take my dog out and he is ever present sitting beside me waiting for us to go back up the steps to our little apartment ,there he sits on the poarch waiting for me to come outside so he can just stand beside me . Sometimes I wonder if we could not take lessons from this old stray dude , he give love unconditional , Never asking for anything in return and if so Not much.

Well here is my attempt back into my artwork , this is the first watercolor Ive done in like over humm well I know 15 years , which I wasnt very much into watercolor , I like to experiment, so I found something I like in the watercolor line of tools. Hope everyone enjoys it ,, comments welcome , tehhe , Now what has been happening ,, Friday a bunch of us got together on sl that used to roleplay together , it was great seeing everyone I'll have to post the pictures Faun and I took, here. it would be great to do that again, in sl Im trying to make a victorian dress , Man I wish we had Sewing machines , Now I know I could get it made then , theehe but I guess its sort of like the same process , but I get soo pissed when I cant make them prims do what I want them to do but as we know , or I think that the building process was developed by a Math man ,, theehh .

Times past .

I think Im getting the hang of this now . maybe , just maybe that is , problaray what I will do is post pic's and things here , I love takeing pictures in Secondlife , real life too , many are of my different friends others are just something I see that I like. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be on a computer much less in a " dont know if you could call it a game or not but ok we will call it a game , where I have met so many great people , One of them being the Man of My Dreams although at the time I didnt know it , but he is and Iam with him in Real life . I can truely say that I have at last found love, and found it from a computer , tehheheheh lawd what is the world comeing too. I also found something there called Roleplay , where any one can be a Secondlife Movie star in their own world . I love this its such great fun to see how creative everyone can be , interacting with each other , playing out a story line that feeds off each other , its Never ending sometimes it goes in area's where you never thought to imiange. thhehe maybe next we all will have to watch out for the poparazzi ,

on the birth of a Blog

Ok I sit here fumbleing through this thing called " create a blog " after it telling me countless times that I didnt do this or didnt do that ,, Gees Gads the errors of Moderan tech, Ive finally created this Blog , NOw Im like a Momma hen with a Baby Duck ,, What the Hell do I do with this thing , Well I will think of something later what to do with it ,, enjoy