Back from a week of vacation in Maggie Valley N.C. the time there was great , I finally got to get some fried green tomatos and I fixed Blak some fried potatos and ramps , thehee Momma wasnt too pleased about the ramps because they stank the whole house up, they smell really bad, but are very good , something like a gralice and onion crossed. we had homemade icecream at my aunts house which I havent had in a long time, My family couldnt get over the fact of how much weight I had gained ,, tehehheh my poor uncle didnt even know who I was until I started talking , he then looked at me in such a surprised look and yelled " Girl Somebody's Done a Super Sized you " I thought we all were going to fall off the porch laughing soo hard. for once in untold number of years all my siblings were together , and boy has time played havoc on us , tehheeh NOw thats what happens when you get older , we looked like the bigbutt family , I couldnt help but laugh at how much we each have changed and then not changed, the rest of them always try to outtalk each other , me I can never get a word in edgewise with them so I stay quite , but all and all it was a great vacation , well not including the day Blak and I got ticks all over us , I was about to strip in the towtruck drivers truck , ( Momma's car broke down on a mountain top where we were looking at a house for sale ) when we got to the grarge Blak wouldnt check to see if I had ticks on my butt , I know I embrassed him , but them things are Creepy and carry rocky mountain spotted fever and lyme deasies , I didnt want one on me Anywhere , theheh we freaked out for two days , but I think we got them all off , teheh but the Blackberrys were good anyway

http://southernfood.about.com/cs/ramps/a/ramps.htm.... ok had this big long thing written out about my eating fryed green tomatoes , and Ramps went to get the link for Ramps to let those who dont know what they are read about them and lost what I had soo , this is short of it ,, Fried green tomatoes , with Ramps and scrambled eggs ,

The Big Day is upon us

Tomorrow is the Day we leave for North Carolina , I cant wait, although there are last minute things that have to be done , like packing Blaks cloths , its funny I think that old saying is true , a man forgets how to dress his self when he has a woman , in this case its he has forgotten how to pack his own cloths , thehhehe ,Im not as nervous as I was , I was so scared that something would go wrong and we wouldnt get to go , or that when we got there , Blak wouldnt want me to come back with him , My head was filled with all kinds of what if 's and I was reacting in a bad way , finally Blak made me tell him what was going on so I sat down and told him my fears , and of course I was laughed at , Sometimes I get so Scared , that this is all a dream , that I will wake up and Blak wont be there or that he wont want me to be in his life anylonger ,I know these may sound like unfounded fears but really they are not. I try not to let my past enterfear with my now but sometimes it comes rushing in and slaps me in the face telling me to not let my guard down all the way that Im going to get hurt once again, but I shake it off because NOW is NOT my past and he is not who is in my past , he is not who put all these fears and abuse in my head, he is not the one that has ever told me that I would never be good enough for any man to want to spend the rest of his life with ,, he is NOT the one that told me that the only thing I was good for was to be a mans bedwhore. Each time Blak talks of the future its OUR future not just his or mine but OuRs , that right there should tell me that Iam a part of him (smiles). Enough of this , Ive let out too much this day , and Mr.Snorei is still in there cutting Z's , Will miss Everbody while we are gone , althougth I will have my laptop , I dont have everyones emails or IM, so I will talk to everyone when we get Back ,, Love you all

the count down begins. Sunday we will be flying to North Carolina for a week and Im trying to stop smoking , Im using the patches put my first one on last night, tehehee it said that if you have a lot of vivid dreams would be best to use during the day , well didnt think that I had such vivid dreams until last night , tehehhehe Poor Blak , good thing I know that he isnt a womaninzeing whore dog and that I knew the women in that dream are actors from some crazy 60's and 90's show and that Lorrne Green is dead although now Im haveing a craveing for Bread pudding tehehhehhe , I can iminage some poor soul that has used the patch over night and had a dream similar to mine and their husband , boyfrined , girlfriend , wife , wake up with bruises all over them , because of some crazy vivid dream the one that is trying to stop smoking has had ,, maybe that was the reason why they had to put that warning on there . thehheeh as long as its dreams like that I think I can handle it ,but now if I get to dreaming about Spiders ,, THAT will Be a different Story , and Blak WILL problaray get hit in his sleep ,, thehehhehee

Dreams

Sometimes Dreams become lost
We dream our dreams growing up and when we are grown
sometimes we dream of having that perfect family maybe one that we didnt have growing up
and we want so hard for this dream to be true , sometimes at the cost of your own well being
but is it worth it , is it worth the heartack the trails and the let downs
is it worth finding out that Really that dream that you clinged to for SO long is never going to be
you finally face the truth and leave that dream behind
and have another dream one where you give all to the ones you bring life to
you make sacrifice's for them that even though they will problary never understand but you do it all for them
will they ever understand what was given up in trying to make a dream for them
in trying to make a perfect world for them , where they would have just the basic things that would be needed
to get by, just a home , cloths food , just those basic little things. will they ever understand how much
heartack , how much struggle , was put into just for these simple little basic things that most take for granted
even this dream fails, just this little simple dream but you keep going , you keep dreaming
you hold them in your heart and can only hope one day that they understand.

A womans prayer to growing old.

Oh dear lord ,
Please let me grow old gracefully .
Please let me have the sense to know
that when I'm old , I'm old

Oh dear lord.
Please don't let me have a drop in my mind and I falter back to the
fashions of my youth .
No tight fitting bluejeans , no seethrough tops, No belly shirts, No poka -a-dot bikini's
No high heeled shoes, No miniskirts,
No daisy dukes, and dear lord when I get to that age of when everything is a sagging and a bagging and dropping to the floor ,
that I'll have mind enough to know that then is not the time to start wearing Thong panties.
There 's only so much that little string can hold up .,and as for the
make-up
Let me have mind enough to know
that what once was attractive would only look like a bug splattered on a window shield
SPLAT!!!!!
I ask Dear Lord,
Please let me grow old gracefully to let me know that when I'm old, I'm old
Amen
P. S. Dear Lord ,
Please Never , Never, Never, Ever let me wear Spandix !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!